Monday, May 23, 2011

My Favorite Hammer Films


Horror of Dracula – this 1958 classic has the first appearance of Christopher Lee playing Dracula.  His interpretation of this classic bloodsucker is enigmatic, aristocratic and has a deeper malignancy than Lugosi.  The movie is fairly close to the original story, but the Hammer production is wonderfully lush and perfectly Victorian.

The Plague of the Zombies – one of my favorite zombie movies, POTZ has a great cast, a memorable dream-sequence, and an older main character, Sir James Forbes, who still manages to kick some ass.  Bonus: Those who enjoy Blake’s 7 will see a much younger Jacqueline Pearce (aka Servalan).

The Mummy – A team of Victorian-era archaeologists discover the tomb of Princess and unwittingly bring back to life the mummified remains of her High Priest (and lover).  Christopher Lee plays the wrapped mummy but manages to add some unexpected depth to this normally wooden character.

Rasputin the Mad Monk – a pure Christopher Lee vehicle, Rasputin is the story of the famed mad monk of Russia.  You can tell that Lee is having fun with this role as sexually-charged and violent priest.


Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter – with the help of his hunchbacked friend, Professor Hieronymus, Captain Kronos fights a hooded vampire that is draining youth from the local maidens.  Bonus: the beautiful Caroline Munro.

The Devil Rides Out – Christopher Lee plays Duc de Richleau who tries to stop his friend Simon from being subjugated by the powers of Black Magic.  Guest appearance by Satan and “The Man with No Neck” from the famed Rocky Horror Picture Show.

The Hound of the Baskervilles – Peter Cushing does a remarkable job as Sherlock Holmes, perhaps even besting Jeremy Brett.  The plot is a little different from the book, but the movie is helped by Christopher Lee playing Sir Henry and Andre Morell as Watson.

Dracula has Risen from the Grave – bakeries, beer and blood is a short description of this movie.  A Monsignor finds a troubled village that is tormented by the memory of Dracula.  With the help of the local priest, they lock Dracula (Christopher Lee) out of his castle.  Dracula returns, seeking revenge on the Monsignor’s daughter, who is engaged to a local atheist college-student who is working at the local tavern, baking bread!

The Brides of Dracula – sadly, Christopher Lee does not make an appearance in this movie.  Instead, we are left with a less charismatic David Peel.  But Peter Cushing does reprise his role as Van Helsing, fighting against evil.  Bonus:  What to do when bitten by a Vampire?  Hot metal and holy water!

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Friday, May 20, 2011

Why are Horror Movies so Bad?

Why are so many horror movies so bad?  I know this question will draw much criticism from the aficionados of the genre, but I still think it is a valid concern.  I would like to see better horror movies being made since I still like the thrill of a good scare.  So sit back, have a drink and let me go through the reasons.


Budget: Of course there are many exceptions to this rule, but most horror movies are made on a low budget.  Now I’ve seen many cheaply made movies that still managed to turn out well – Hammer Films come to mind – but money does have an effect on the end product.  A low budget means cheap special effects, a lower grade of actor and director, and sets that look like an abandoned summer camp.  This was especially true in the 1950s through the 1980s, when the genre was specifically directed at a younger audience.  Quick and cheap production was meant to maximize profits, but it also had the side-effect of pigeon-holing the entire genre.  Once you see one slasher movie, it’s only natural to lump them all together. 


 Ideas: The horror movie genre has been running on fumes for last few years.  How many different versions of the same old zombie / vampire / ghost / slasher stories can be told?  Do I really need to see Friday the 13th, Part 245 to truly understand the inner-mind of Jason?  Again, there are many exceptions to this rule – Let the Right One In, The Changeling, and The Thing come to mind.  I’m not exactly sure what is required to make this dearth of ideas better, but perhaps some good scripts, better actors and some assumed intelligence of the audience.


Scare Factor: When I watch a good horror movie, I want a certain level of scare and creepiness.  Instead, gore has become the main modern staple.  Don’t get me wrong, gore has its place, but there is nothing like that crawling sensation at the back of your neck when you get a good scare.  For examples of this – watch Alien, Them!, or even the original Halloween


So what do you think?  What mistakes are the movie-making world making when it comes to horror (and other!) movies?

Both of my books are now available on Amazon

follow the link Murder at Zero Hour and Of Ghosts and Gunpowder


or click on the links under Published Books.


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Monday, May 16, 2011

My Twenty Desert Island Music Picks

Twenty albums that changed my world.  If I was marooned in space or a little island in the Pacific, this would be my ideal pick from my music collection.  Of course a radio would be nice for the odd hockey game and Sunday morning classical music.


Badfinger – No Dice   - Though Badfinger’s history reads like a dramatic tale of suicide and despair, they made soaring pop music that makes you glad to be alive.

Elvis Costello – Armed Forces  an album with few flaws and not a single throw-away song.  That’s rare.

Bob Dylan – Blonde on Blonde  is perhaps the zenith of Bob Dylan’s career and maybe of all time.  No one has ever made an album like this before or since.  The music swells to dizzying heights and barely manages to stay together.

Echo & the Bunneymen – Heaven Up Here  - UK Topnotch New Wave pop.

Felice Brothers – s/t  makes folk music from the dark underbelly of America.  This is the real deal, brothers!

The Flying Burrito Brothers – Gilded Palace of Sin  is the best of a then new genre – country rock!

Steve Forbert – Alive on Arrival  is catchy, introspective folk-rock with some great lyrics.

Icicle Works – The Small Price of a Bicycle - bombastic?  yes, but oh-so catchy and powerful New Wave.

The Kinks – Lola versus Powerman and the Moneygoround  - a difficult choice, but probably their most consistent album

Ronnie Lane – Anymore for Anymore is the best of the then-new British folk-rock.  Ronnie sings with heart and soul.

Nick Lowe – Pure Pop for Now People  (aka Jesus of Cool) is Nick Lowe’s groundbreaking pop masterpiece.

John Phillips – Wolfking of L.A.  - the main songwriter of The Mamas and the Papas goes solo and makes his best album ever.

Play Dead – From the Promised Land  is melodic goth rock with a hint of cold wave and strong, powerful martial beats.

Shout Out Louds – Our Ill Wills  is the best modern pop group around with chilling melodic hooks.

Snake Corps – Flesh on Flesh  is powerful cold wave with a catchy guitar flare

The Sound – From the Lion’s Mouth - the vehicle for Adrian Borland’s genius.  All of their albums are excellent, so this is a hard call because I love 'em all.

T. Rex – Electric Warrior  has the best melodic glam hooks in the business.

Tom Waits – Closing Time - before his voice cracked, Waits made this powerful singer-songwriter album.

Link Wray – s/t (1971 Polydor)  is deep American folk-rock, this sounds nothing like Link’s rockabilly days

Neil Young – Tonight’s the Night - drug addiction and suicide underpin this dark rock ‘n roll album

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Murder At Zero Hour is now available via Diesel eBooks

Here.  Diesel is definitely the quickest distributor for Smashwords since it only takes a week to get on their site after the book has been accepted into the Premium Catalog.

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A Review of the 2004 Honda Element


Ever since the tender age of 16, I’ve been a pickup guy.  Back then, my first set of wheels was a 1984 Nissan King Cab truck that belonged to my mom.  After getting over my initial new-found freedom, I found that the pickup was also useful for hauling.  It was also rugged and could take all the abuse that a silly teenager could dish out.  My mom eventually got a new car, but I inherited that Nissan for my own use where I drove it for part of my college years.  I was sad to see it go.

Since then, I’ve dabbled in muscle cars, luxury cars, SUVs, and bread ‘n’ butter sedans.  I’ve only owned one truck since – a 1995 Nissan Hardbody that was also rugged and useful like its predecessor.  But marriage and kids came along, so it was back to sedan land for me.

Recently, with the increasing price of gasoline, it was high-time to ditch my beloved Buick Roadmaster.  I wanted to get a pickup truck, but I would still be stuck with high fuel bills.  Plus I still have a family to haul around.  But I wanted the ability to haul stuff, so that left me the idea to purchase a smaller sport utility vehicle or a station wagon.  However, my search for a Volvo or Subaru station wagon left me disappointed – finding a low mileage model with a low price in this area was fruitless.

My interest then turned to the Scion xB, but the first generation was deemed too small and underpowered.  My sights then hit on the Honda Element.  During my search, I found one for sale with only 75k miles.  With my wife in tow, we took it for a test drive.  In the end, we were really impressed by the functionality, so we ended up buying it the same day.  So after a few months of ownership, here is my review of the Honda Element.

Exterior: What stands out most about the Honda Element is the boxy shape.  Though the modern look doesn’t jar the eyes like it once did, this body-style is still very radical.  The hood is blunt, but somehow they managed to fit a 2.4L engine in there.  The front doors are tall and wide, while the smaller suicide doors do not have their own exterior door handle - the front doors must be opened for the back doors to be opened.  When both front and back doors are wide open, it makes for a truly cavernous opening – perfect for getting in the back seat or handling cargo.  In the rear, there is a split tailgate, much like an old-fashioned station wagon.  In our model year, the fender wheel-wells are protected by a thick, dark plastic.  Paint and fit ‘n’ finish is very high as is to be expected on a Honda.

Interior:  For such a small wheelbase, the interior of the Element is large.  There is plenty of room inside for four passengers and cargo.  Since the floor is flat and low to the ground, there seems to be even more interior room than my old Mercury Mountaineer.  The floor itself is made with a rubber/plastic-type material that is easy to cleanup – the perfect dog mobile!  The floor is fairly slick though, which means that boxes and grocery bag can easily slide around.  The two front seats are stiff but fairly comfortable. The rear seats are very flexible – they can be removed, flipped down to a bed, or even swung to the sides and attached to the grab-bar.

Front legroom for my 6’2” frame is not the greatest because the wheel-well butts into my left foot.  The gas gauge and speedometer are hard to read with their red lettering and boy-racer looks.  This base model doesn’t have any armrests either, which makes my right elbow feel conspicuously free to roam the cabin.  The automatic gear shift lever is located right on the dash and is easy to grab and use.

Engine:  The 2.4L makes 166 hp at 5500 rpm and 160 ft·lbf of torque at 4500 rpm.  Compared to some older cars I have owned, these numbers would be impressive if it wasn’t for the 3300lbs of weight being pulled around.  But still, it is a fairly smooth engine, but sounds a little wheezy when accelerating hard.

Driving: The 2.4L engine is a nice steady performer, but don’t expect to win many drag races.  Although 2.4L is a large displacement for a 4-cyl engine, the lack of low-end torque, plus the addition of an automatic transmission means low and slow acceleration.  Sure, I’ve had much slower cars in my time, but the van-like steering and view does not exactly promote spirited driving.

The handling is good, but if I take a corner a little too hot, the tippy feeling of such a high vehicle makes me quickly scrub the speed.  Parking lot maneuvers, however, are easy since the small wheelbase makes it easy to fit in small spaces.

The suspension with such a small wheelbase is a little bouncy as expected.  Driving over the potholes of West Michigan can be plenty jarring.  Of course I’m comparing this vehicle to some of the best rides in the business – a big and heavy Mercury Grand Marquis and the air-shock equipped Buick Roadmaster.  At higher speeds, highway expansion joints cause the Element to bob in a sickening manner.  This is certainly no luxury vehicle which leads to my next complaint.

Road Noise – around town, the interior noise level isn’t too bad.  Voices don’t have to be raised to be understood.  But on the highway, the carpet free interior and large interior space leads to excessive levels of road noise.  On a trip to Ikea in Canton,MI, I practically had to shout to be heard.  The stereo was getting drowned out too, leading to fairly uncomfortable trip.  The return trip was actually much better since we were loaded with boxes and blankets.  The ride was also helped by the additional weight.

Gas Mileage:  Overall MPG was initially a little disappointing.  With the first tank of mostly city driving, we got roughly 17mpg.  The second tank was only a little better.  But recently, we’ve started to return something closer to the EPA estimates.

Conclusion:  The Honda Element is a unique family-hauler.  With seating for four, removable seats and a larger than expected cargo space, this is one useful car to have around.  My only real complaint is the lack of power and poor highway manners.  But for driving around the city and taking care of the errands of life, there aren’t many cars that can match the versatility of the Honda Element.

Mileage in town:  18.7 mpg average
Mileage on the Highway: 23.2mpg average

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Friday, May 13, 2011

A Review of the 2001 Mercury Grand Marquis


Since the purchase of my wife’s Honda Element, I've recently taken over her low-mileage 2001 Grand Marquis. I've only driven a few miles on this old-fashioned beast, but here are some random thoughts on the venerable Panther platform.

The ride is rather smooth over the craters, er potholes, of West Michigan. However, really rough washboard pavement can cause the rear live-axle to momentarily lose contact with the road, resulting in some odd braking behavior.  Regarding size, the Marquis actually feels smaller than my old Buick Roadmaster, though nose-to-nose, they are almost exactly the same length and width. The Marquis has better legroom, but the Buick seemed to wrap around you in a more protective fashion.  Compared to the other cars on the road, the Marquis is truly a BIG car.  Even the expensive BMW 7-series is smaller.  This size and resulting weight certainly doesn’t help fuel consumption, but it does give one an added feeling of safety.  With those miles of sheet-metal, the Marquis is also a hard car for trucks and SUVs to ‘intimidate.’

The general handling of the Marquis seems fairly tight. There are quite a number of braces in the front suspension which helps the nose stay relatively straight during hard cornering. Though not up to my old Volvo in overall handling, the RWD platform feels very stable and I feel safer pushing it hard into corners. Of course the shared platform Crown Vic has been used for years in police vehicles, so this is hardly a surprise.  Of course I wouldn’t select this car for SCAA competition, but for day-to-day driving it is better than you would expect.

My model of the Marquis also has the traction control option, which takes a bit of the "70s cop show fun" out of driving it. It can be turned off, but I actually prefer do drive with it on since it stops me from doing something monumentally stupid.  The traction control really does help during the worst parts of Michigan winters.  Though FWD and AWD cars will provide amateur drivers with better grip, I prefer the predictability of RWD.  When the back starts to kick out, it becomes natural to counter-steer and get the nose of the car pointed back in the right direction.

Interior quality is quite high - much better than many, many cars I have driven. It still feels modern, even though it is 10 years old now, and the wood trim actually has a bit of class to it. Sure, it's not a Lexus, but I like it.  The seats are comfortable but oddly harder around the bottom seat edges, which can lead to the thighs falling asleep on long trips.  This is one of the few cars where I can truly stretch out my legs.  At 6’2”, this is a blessing.

The exterior is conservative and boring.  This is a popular senior-citizen car, which is good and bad.  First of all, it gets ignored by other drivers.  And since the Marquis also looks much like its brother, the Crown Vic, it often gets mistaken as a police car.  I've seen people afraid to pass me on the highway or tap their brakes at night.  As for the bad, I've noticed people love to pass these cars.  It's either the size or the suspected age of the driver, but everyone assumes you will be going slow when leaving the stoplight.

Finally - the engine.  Acceleration with the 225hp-ish 4.6L SOHC engine is not all that stunning with over 4000lbs of car to pull around. Off-the-line grunt doesn't compare to my old Buick’s 5.7L LT1 engine in any way. Too bad Ford never made a 5.4L 'GT' edition or something like that. This car just needs more bottom-end torque to truly feel right to me.  Having said that, the 4.6L is still very smooth.  It starts to gather power higher up in the power band. Perfect for high-speed pursuits, but not the best for lower-speed streetlight action.

Overall, I still prefer the old GM B-body cars, but since they were last made in 1996, low mileage models are getting harder to find. I've always been more if a "GM guy" than a "Ford Guy", so I still feel more comfortable working on the old B body platform. But for a daily grind car for someone who is tall, the Marquis does a good job.

Sadly, the Marquis will no longer be sold after 2011.  It’s time has come and gone, but if you don’t mind spending a little extra for gasoline, then go ahead and try one out.  It rides better than many modern cars and is perfect for long highway driving.

Mileage in town:  15.8mpg average
Mileage on the Highway: 25.2mpg average

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